Category: Rants

  • Bethesda Provides a Master Class in how not to do Customer Service

    Bethesda Provides a Master Class in how not to do Customer Service

    Several months ago, when I was covering E3 announcements for the site, and talking about what I was looking forward to, one of the main ones I called out was Fallout 76. I was excited for the Power Armor edition, even though I knew I didn’t need it and couldn’t really afford it, and I was even more excited about the Fallout 76 Pip-Boy 2000 that was offered by Bethesda and ThinkGeek.

    Fast forward to now and I will fess up: I cancelled my orders for both and have yet to play Fallout 76. The more they talked about the game, a few things became clear, and I knew I should save my money.

    First, and most important, was that this wasn’t a game I was likely to enjoy playing. Fallout is an single player action RPG that features first person / over-the-shoulder 3D shooter mechanics in an rich world full of unique and interesting NPCs (both allies and enemies). It featured a lot of story, a unique combat system in V.A.T.S., and a whole lot of things that got you living and invested in the world.

    The more that Bethesda talked (or, in a lot of cases, talked around) the game, the more it became clear that most of that would be missing. Rich world, sure. Combat… kind of, though being online would likely mean that VATS wasn’t there, and they dodged questions of the story outside of the initial setup for the game. My assumption back then was that this game was going to be a soulless shell of a game that removed the best parts of Fallout to capitalize on the name. Like I said, I haven’t played it, but nearly all of the reviews, and a lot of people I know that have played it… to mixed (or worse) reviews. Some have picked it as the hill to die on and defend (I’m curious how many of them also loved No Man’s Sky when it came out), but for the most part, it’s indifference to unhappiness.

    This matches the population of the game right now

    For its part, Bethesda hasn’t exactly been making friends with how they’ve responded. In slightly more than a week after launch, they’ve already had the game on sale for nearly half off. Black Friday/Cyber Monday aside, that’s a terrible thing to do to the people who actually paid for the game and worse, preordered it. Seriously, if this isn’t a lesson in never, ever, preordering a game, I don’t know what is.

    They also released a fairly tone deaf apology letter on the state of the game at launch. Bethesda is kind of notorious for releasing buggy games, having once used that as a point of evidence in a lawsuit, but you can go watch livestreams and videos of how bad it is in Fallout 76. A lot of these were found in the beta (which wasn’t a beta, it was a “pay us and we’ll let you stress-test our code), where players can edit the files like a regular single-player game and basically hack their way into things. Worse, things like physics and speed were tied to framerate… so you could look down and turn into The Flash. From a development point of view, these are mistakes that have no excuse… some of them are things you’d learn about in a basic game development course. It’s bad enough that their initial dev cycles for “enhancements and features” seem to be focused entirely on things that are broken or missing from the game. Apparently “content” in AAA games now consists of making things work as expected.

    Yesterday, things blew up in a more spectacular fashion, however, when people who purchased the $200 Power Armor version (which is the one I had pre-ordered and cancelled). When it was originally shown, demoed, and advertised (that part will become important), they called out that the armor would feature a canvas bag. You can see it in the image I posted at the top of the article (the one on the store . That was actually one of the coolest features, because it was potentially useful outside of something to gather dust on the shelf, and very authentic to a military feel.

    From Twitter User MrFive2Five

    People who ordered it, instead, got a cheap nylon bag (the kind that would never be used in a military application, because they are garbage that would fall apart at the slightest touch of water or heat). Having dropped that kind of money, people were understandably upset and contacted the company. That brings us to the headline, and how badly it was handled. Here were a couple of responses that came from Bethesda support…

    Due to unavailability of materials, we had to switch to a nylon case in the Fallout 76: Power Armor Edition. We hope this doesn’t prevent anyone from enjoying what we feel is one of our best collector’s editions.

    And someone who was unusually honest (and kind of blunt)…

    We are sorry that you aren’t happy with the bag. The bag shown in the media was a prototype and was too expensive to make.

    You know what isn’t a valid excuse for delivering something that was committed to in advertisement and order? Being “too expensive to make.” In fact, there already looks to be a lawsuit gearing up for this for deceptive trade practices, and I wouldn’t be shocked if this becomes point number one when they take it to court.

    For their part, Bethesda knew that the responses were bad from their support. I like to imagine they got together, saw it was a firestorm, and then promptly went about to trying to figure out how to make it even worse. They tried to smooth over the response by throwing the person under the bus and calling them a contractor, but as far as I can tell, their problem is that the person told the truth.

    I’ve talked about pouring gasoline on a fire before, like with what happened with Blizzard and their recent Diablo announcement. That story has gotten far more complicated, by the way, since there’s a great write-up on Kotaku about exactly how badly they pantsed things over there. (If you haven’t read Jason Schrier’s work, you should… Blood, Sweat, and Pixels is a fantastic book, and his writeup of Mass Effect: Andromeda is fantastic journalism that makes my heart hurt as a fan of the series).

    Bethesda released this in response to failing to deliver an advertised feature on the product

    For those keeping track at home… 500 Atoms is about $4 in their virtual currency for their microtransaction garbage that’s baked into a full-price, incomplete, buggy, and broken game. It will effectively buy you nothing at all useful (another one showed a door and some flowers). It’s more than you can easily earn in game, but still not at all much (you can get 10-20 through daily and weekly quests). The best response I saw was this:

    I mean, this game doesn’t have humans or NPCs other than the characters, yet still somehow there’s a market-based economy to sell you appearances. On checking a guide for the Atom store, it doesn’t look like you can buy any appearances that are in their shop right now. Beyond that, this is not an apology, because it’s not useful unless you’re playing the game. It doesn’t make up for an unusable physical product, it’s just a sinister way to get you to spend money.

    It’s absolutely unbelievable that a company, any company, thought this would be a good thing. In trying to rush out and head off a problem, they made it worse. They’ve opened themselves up to legal action that they will almost certainly pay for… not just in money but in the loss of goodwill. They’ve hit some of the most hardcore and dedicated fans of their game, those willing to spend hundreds on special products, and I’d be shocked if hardly any of them purchase a product from the company again.

    Fallout 76 is basically a Survival Horror game, which were in fashion a few years ago, made in an inferior engine and stripped of anything that would make it unique in the genre.

    The behavior of the company is pretty telling. This was the first Bethesda game that didn’t come to Steam. In part, that was originally because they wanted to drive people to using their awful launcher (something consumers don’t want to do)… but now it looks like it has been so they can avoid Steam’s “not all that great but better than nothing” refund policy. Bethesda has been refusing any refund requests, and that will probably sink them when it goes to court (like it has other companies that put out overly broken games in recent memory). Sadly, because of how that sort of legal action goes, the lawyers are who will win, and customers will probably get a settlement worth some more atoms, and nothing will change.

    At least at first. Make no mistake… Bethesda’s reputation will hurt after this. They’ve always had a reputation for bugs and weirdness, but that was baked in as part of the charm. Fallout and Skyrim had all kinds of crazy videos of things going wonky, and we laughed at them… but it’s now taken a lot more negative and hostile side with fans. And given how the company has acted, they deserve every bit of it. To be clear, I’m talking about directions towards a company and product… not to the people working on it or individual devs. Harassment of them is never justified or acceptable.

    If at any point you find your company being compared to EA, understand that you’ve probably screwed up badly

    You don’t have to look far to see a parallel of another company that went down this road and hasn’t really recovered in the eyes of their former fans: Electronic Arts. A lot of this feels reminiscent of the debacle around Mass Effect: Andromeda, Sim City, and Star Wars Battlefront 2, and a lot of other titles. I know that I, personally, haven’t purchased a single EA game since Andromeda. I’ve heard good things about Battlefield V, but I won’t purchase it until it’s in the bargain bin, if at all. I know a lot of other gamers who feel the same way about their products… EA has become a warning badge on something to avoid.

    More than anything, this whole mess should serve as a warning for consumers. These companies do not deserve your money just because of their name or history. Don’t preorder a game to subsidize it, because it’s just a way they can deliver a sub-standard product and rip you off by denying you a refund later. Don’t buy into arguments that it’s hurting the devs and workers, either… the company is the one treating them poorly and using whatever excuse they can to avoid paying them fairly. Customers are not on the hook to make up for corporate bad behavior.

    Once upon a time, a company had to work to earn your money… they weren’t owed it or guaranteed just by trading on your name. A good product should be what earns money, not just being another thing on it. And companies should be making products for their customers to enjoy and love, not building ways to force in microtransactions and exclusive DLC to try and trick them out of their money.

    The Collector’s Edition cost two of these, plus tax.

    The trend that so many of these companies have been going is worrisome, and sadly, this isn’t the exception. It’s just the latest high profile example of a game company missing the point, badly. We need to vote with our wallets until it gets better and they focus on the customers as consumers instead of money dispensers. There are examples of companies that are doing it right… after all, Smash Brothers Ultimate comes out in 8 days.

    Vote with your wallet. Right now Bethesda has done nothing to earn your money.

  • Review: Star Wars Episode VII – The Force Awakens

    Review: Star Wars Episode VII – The Force Awakens

    Life can be a funny thing, sometimes. I started writing this review December 18th, 2015, after I’d slept through a midnight showing of Force Awakens in IMAX. Then I got this crazy idea that everyone on the staff should go write their own impressions of it… before I realized there are like two of us (or four, depending on what’s going on), and we have jobs and kids and lives. So it just sort of fell by the wayside as we went about reviewing other things.

    My initial thoughts were captured in our forum thread on it, as well as tucked away in the reviews for a lot of the Force Awakens sets. Since after watching this movie, one of the first things I did was run out and buy the new Falcon and Kylo Ren’s shuttle… it stands that I really liked the movie. I’m under no pretension that this was the greatest Star Wars movie of all time (obviously, that’s Jedi, given my love of Ewoks). At the same time, it seems pretty popular to throw shade at this particular movie… be it because of the (intentional) similarities between it and A New Hope, the involvement of Disney, or for the people that stopped enjoying anything Star Wars made after 1983.

    When I was writing reviews for the original and prequel trilogies back before this came out, starting with Episode I and working up to the good ones, I was all prepared for the time when I got to The Force Awakens review and had to rip into it. The odds of it working were stacked against it for a whole variety of reasons. It was Disney, who’s focus is always going to be on generating merchandise over storytelling (not that they don’t tell a story). It was Star Wars, where half of the existing films are considerably worse than the rest. It was JJ Abrams, who has already ruined a lot of Star Trek for fans. There had also been some pretty heavy-handed actions by Disney and Co. leading up to it, issuing takedowns and threats, etc.

    The hype around this film was absolutely unreal. It was pretty unlikely that it could ever come within the same zip code on delivering on that hype. Star Wars fans are just the worst, and nothing ever, EVER If it was awful, we all would have sat back and gone “see, told you it was going to be terrible!” There’s a problem with that whole narrative, though…

    … is that it was actually a pretty good movie.

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  • Lego Sales Drop, Layoffs, and Speculating About Why

    Lego Sales Drop, Layoffs, and Speculating About Why

    It seems like Ace and I aren’t the only ones feeling a bit burnt out on Lego lately… Lego released their earnings report for the first half of the year, and for the first time in a decade (perhaps even longer), Lego reported a drop in sales since the previous year. Last year was already the lowest growth they’d seen since their turnaround years in the mid 2000s, and there had been rumblings from retailers that there wasn’t as much demand for sets recently. Specifically, it looks like the LEGO Batman movie was in particular a poor performer, but their original lines were the top performers in the period.

    Knudstorp said brands that Lego invented, including Lego City, Lego Friends, Lego Duplo and Lego Technic, were the best performers in the period

    That’s a pretty telling little bit after years of Star Wars and similar lines being the powerhouses of the lineup, and big releases like the Lego Movie and Lego Batman getting all of the attention and marketing. Of course, if you’ve read my reviews for any of the licensed sets I’ve covered in recent history, you can probably guess that I’m not overly shocked to see them fall off. It has felt that Lego has a drought of creativity in a lot of set designs, with things like the Batcave feeling like a copy/paste and Star Wars being full of remakes coming out closer and closer together (looking at you, Force Awakens X-Wing).

    The worst part about this news is that 1400 people are going to lose their jobs as Lego tries to corporate their way out of a product problem (as someone who has spent many years in a corporate environment… that has, to date, never worked). Hopefully they land on their feet (and they aren’t out of the brand retail stores, those guys are overworked and underpaid as it is).

    To quote their CEO…

    We have added complexity into the organisation which now in turn makes it harder for us to grow further,” he said in a statement. “As a result, we have now pressed the reset-button for the entire Group.

    I’m certain that’s true on the front of complexity… Lego is the largest toymaker in the world and has grown to just about everything in recent years. But I fail to see the connection on too much organization complexity causing problems with people not wanting your sets. I’m going to go into my own personal guesses for some of it, and I won’t claim any special insight, but I think there are a few things in there that should make anyone still following Lego very concerned about the future.

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  • Review: Batman v Superman – Dawn of Justice

    Review: Batman v Superman – Dawn of Justice

    It’s no secret that I wasn’t a fan of Man of Steel. I didn’t like the sets, I thought they mishandled the whole “origin story” of Superman (and, you know, his basic character traits), and the action was just absurd and excessive. Worse, they just absolutely ruined Jonathan Kent and the moral fiber of Superman / Clark Kent. There were some decent parts… I liked Adams as Lois Lane and Fishburne as Perry White, and the whole military fight that let Detective Stabler get the noble death SVU would never give him was far cooler than the generic build-up for it.

    But, I didn’t really hate Man of Steel, I just didn’t like it. We’ve had some genuinely great comic book movies in recent years, and MoS went more for gritty and serious, and didn’t treat it’s characters like they were, you know, comic book characters. Obviously, some people loved the movie though, because here we are with Batman v Superman. DC has already announced that this is all a lead-up to Justice League, and has been teasing stuff for every film they’re planning to make ever, and they’re all going to be the bestest things ever.

    The problem, of course, is that Batman v Superman is like if the Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones had an illegitimate child and decided to take home the afterbirth and dress it up like Superman. Batman v Superman is the worst movie I have seen in years.

    Oh, and obviously, spoilers. Though likely no more than their trailers already spoiled.

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode VI – Return of the Jedi

    Review: Star Wars Episode VI – Return of the Jedi

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    As I’ve said a few times on this site, Return of the Jedi is my favorite Star Wars movie. I’m willing to concede it’s not the best movie (that’d be Empire), but it’s the one I’ll always associate with growing up. Jedi came out in 1983, when I was four years old. I don’t remember seeing it in the theater (the first movies I remember seeing where Disney’s Pinocchio and Supergirl, both of which I saw twice)… but I rented all of the movies more times than I can remember. Along with Tron and some Go-Bots cartoons, the Star Wars trilogy was my go-to, and Jedi most of all.

    Unlike Empire, Jedi focuses on the adventure of the story and bringing a close to the somewhat loosely defined story points. Everything could have ended with Star Wars if it had been a flop, but Jedi left everything up in the air even while it concluded it’s specific story (and should serve as the template on how to close a movie without resolving a series). It’s pretty easy to say that expectations for Return of the Jedi were insanely high… there was the story of how Luke was going to face Vader, the fate of Han Solo, and in general the whole fate of the Rebellion.  In some ways, I’m not sure RotJ could ever meet the expectations set out for it.

    It’s also a movie that served in a lot of ways as a warning sign for what was coming in the prequels, but also probably stands as the most entertaining of the movies by itself, especially across different ages. The problem with being more entertaining is that those movies is that they also tend to be less memorable… though I think this particular film may have missed it. Of course, there’s one last thing about Jedi that will always hold special meaning, and that’s for a throwaway line by Mon Mothma. Which lets me make this joke, something years in the making!

    Many Bothans Died to bring you this review…

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

    Review: Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    I’ll be honest… I was very tempted to make this into a one sentence review: “It’s awesome, now shut up and go watch it again.” I’m sure some people like to argue against the fact that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the Star Wars movies. Those people are wrong. The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the Star Wars movies. Mind you, it’s not my favorite, but being the best and being a favorite are not required to be the same thing.

    A whole lot of ink has been spilled as to why this movie is the best of the bunch. The fact that Lucas didn’t write the screenplay; he wrote the original story and did what he does best, have ideas… but ultimately let other people expound on them and make them better. Leigh Brackett (initially, until her death) and Lawrence Kasdan ultimately wrote it, Irvin Kershner directed, and Lucas focused on the special effects with ILM.

    This is less a review, and more focusing on what Empire does well (and, honestly, where it sort of misses). It may be a little shorter, because it’s well established that I would rather talk about Ewoks anyway.

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode IV – A New Hope

    Review: Star Wars Episode IV – A New Hope

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    When my daughter and I sat down to watch A New Hope, there was a big difference in her reaction compared to any of the previous movies. Sure, she’s only three, so her attention span is not what I would call… “existing.” Still, she was excited just by the crawl, and then by the SPACESHIPS in a scream that would have made Benny Proud. But the real moment that really made me laugh was when the Stormtroopers break through the hatch to get on to the ship, to which she started to yell “oh no, watch out!” to all of the poor Rebel Troopers. To be fair, she reacts the exact same way when watching Frozen, and Elsa and the Ice Monster are trying to get away from the soldiers from Weselton.

    It’s hard to really pin down what makes A New Hope, or just Star Wars if you are old enough, so special. Unless you were alive for the initial release, which I was not (though only barely), it may seem hard to believe that it was so unlike anything else ever seen. It was at one point mystical kung-fu film, another Flash Gordon style space adventure, and the rest a special effects masterpiece before special effects were really even a thing. While Jaws had introduced the idea of blockbuster, Star Wars showed what the idea of a Blockbuster really was.

    More than that, it was the movie that made merchandising more than just an “oh, and this too” to the focus of the whole enterprise. I mean, when you can sell blank cards with the promise of action figures to the world and it actually sell, you’ve made some sort of evil pact with the forces of darkness. That pact had to extend to the sheer luck of George Lucas, because even though Obi-Wan doesn’t think such a thing exists, this movie is like 60% luck, especially when you read about some of the things that happened behind the scenes or in production. When the iconic space battle happens in a trench because the plastic used to make a model shrinks (and the builder had the skill to convince Lucas to just incorporate that into the story instead of, you know, fixing it)… luck certainly exists.

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

    Review: Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    Given the hate that I enjoy piling on The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, I suppose it’s a little bit surprising that Revenge of the Sith is the Star Wars movie I’ve watched the fewest times. It’s easily the best of the Prequel Trilogy, but I just get so tired of the prequel by the time it gets to Revenge and something in my nerd brain won’t let me watch just one movie. But if I want to watch the good Star Wars movie, I have to get through the bad ones. Those are the rules, as ironclad as needing a flag if you want to have a country.

    Again, thanks to our man Austin for the incredibly poster art, because they should have just marketed the entire movie like pulp 50s Sci-Fi. I mean, this is such a “Revenge of the Creature” kind of movie compared to Episode II, it kind of fits. We don’t have any gill men running around, unless you count Grievous, but it was in black-and… you know, I really don’t know where I was going with that joke. It’s just that MST3K has been in at the forefront of my brain lately.

    As a collector, Episode III came at a pretty interesting time. There was a lot better feeling about Star Wars after Attack of the Clones (as compared to TPM), even if the film hasn’t aged quite as well. However, LEGO was also struggling at this time, and the action figure market was really starting to tumble around Star Wars. The initial wave of Episode III sets are still probably the worst overall lineup that LEGO has ever offered (in my never-ever humble opinion, anyway), and still includes some real stinker sets.

    Of course, for me, some of that is hindsight, as I was towards the tail end of a dark age. I also didn’t see the movie when it came out, waiting a few weeks after the release before I managed to get time to see it. I was busy with something… what was it… oh right, getting married. I didn’t have the heart to drag my wife to another movie like this, so had to find a friend who wanted to go again. So a whole lot of reasons why the best of the PT still doesn’t occupy as many of my opinions as the rest… maybe because it’s harder to hate. Or it could be because it’s the prequel film that lacks depth the most.

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones

    Review: Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    I’ve said in a few different reviews that Episode II: Attack of the Clones is the worst of the Star Wars movies. At the very least, it’s my least favorite, and watching it again, while sober, did nothing to change that opinion. Sure, I’m bias as all get out, but most people who’ve known me know that I try to keep an open mind, even on things I disagree with. My daughter had never seen Episode II, and it’s the only Star Wars movie my wife has ever watched all of, so I wanted to give it a chance.

    I should know better, time can’t turn any amount of Bantha Poo into Gold Pressed Latinum. I might be mixing franchises though, unless you buy the theory that the Star Wars setting was created by a time-travel accident where a task force of Federation, Ferengi, Romulan, and Klingon ships were experimenting with faster warp technology, hit Warp 10, and ended up long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away. Then after arriving, settled planets, eventually evolved, found the Force, and built the Old Republic. A theory which I just made up while writing this paragraph, mostly because I think Sisko: Jedi Knight would be kind of Awesome.

    The lead-up to Episode II was a whole lot different from the lead-up to Episode I, and there was a lot more trepidation with what was coming. By this time, all the adults (and some kids) hated Jar Jar, Jake Lloyds career was dead, and Episode I gave Michael Bay all the inspiration he needed to perfect the “awful movie that makes all the money” formula. I’m willing to bet a lot fewer people remember the Episode II trailer compared to the Episode I. It also represented a time of real uncertainty for LEGO… which is kind of sad, since Episode II has also given us some just awesome sets over the years (and gave us a good decade to yell at LEGO for not making a Padme figure).

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  • Review: Star Wars Episode I – The Phantom Menace

    Review: Star Wars Episode I – The Phantom Menace

    As a lead up to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, FBTB is going to do something crazy (and likely something that a whole bunch of other sites are going to do too), and review the previous movies. Why? Because shut up, that’s why. We are going to take a slightly different take, other than just eviscerating the PT and fawning love on Empire Strikes back, and actually look at some of the impacts that it has on the toys and stuff we really love. Plus, it gives us an excuse to make fun of Jar Jar. It’s basically win-win. 

    My dislike for the prequels is a matter of record on this site. It’s been the source of many arguments on this site, because when you keep reviewing products born out of something you hate… well, you repeat an argument a whole lot. I’ve also gone on record that The Phantom Menace isn’t the worst Star Wars movie… Attack of the Clones is. That’s also the only movie that my wife has seen, so take that as you will (most here will likely take that as me being a terrible husband… but she just doesn’t care much for Sci-Fi movies; she only went to Episode II because we were still early in the dating process and not willing to admit to each other what we didn’t like).

    The last time I watched all of the prequel movies, I drank so much I was unconscious on my office floor before Dooku gave Anakin the nickname “Lefty.” This time, I’m going to take a much different path, for which my liver says thanks, and take the opportunity to introduce my daughter to the Star Wars movies. She’s already into the toys… in that she likes to grab the LEGO ships and minifigs and play with them, and she’s only three, so the scarring left by the prequels will be healed in time for Episode VIII.

    So, let’s kick off this “adventure” with Episode I. I know a lot of fans are going to just skip Episode I on their marathon lead-up to Force Awakens, but I think that’s a mistake. As bad as this movie is, and it is bad, it’s also a very important reminder of what can happen when the hype machine takes control. Nothing we’ve seen about Episode VII thus far can really match the hype monster that was Episode I.

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