“Randomly think of a thing. Let it bump around your head a bit. If the bumping gets too loud, start writing the words with the nearest writing device. See how far you get. The more words usually mean a higher degree of personal interest. Stop when it suits you.”
I’ve had this bumping in my head for some time now, but couldn’t muster the will or the want to sit down and write. Scratch that, I did want to, but for the preservation of my own sanity I had to stay away from my laptop.
My laptop represents work. It’s provided for by my work, it’s what I take home everyday, and what I bring back everyday. I’m with my laptop more than my own family.
Work has been, to put it mildly, not the best. I’ve been working nights and weekends just to meet deadlines and keep up with the demand. So much so that when it came to doing anything fun and relaxing, the last thing I wanted to was crack this thing open and start blogging.
As a result, this site has suffered, as well as other interesting things where a computing device was the main interface: my personal email inbox is exploding, I haven’t read any of my favorite sites in a while, I’m behind on the news, and… and… you get the picture. Even being on my phone feels like a chore.
My only real escape was video games. Been playing Splatoon 2 and Hollow Knight on the Switch, and Spider-Man and God of War on the PS4. That was really my only escape from my terrible work situation.
I can proudly say though that my family life has not suffered. I’ve always placed a priority on them and will continue to do so. But after they’ve gone to bed and I find myself awake and alone in the house, I’ll fire up a game system and lose myself in whatever make-believe world I picked for that night.
But that bumping in my head never really went away. And like I said at the beginning of this blog post, I need to find a way to start writing again, to make it enjoyable again even if I have to use a computer as my main interface.
It’s Wednesday night, and my Java class starts in exactly 15 minutes and 18 seconds. Normally, I’d have my Switch with me, but I forced myself to leave it at home so I can use this time to do exactly this: write. I did FaceTime with my daughter to help her with her math homework while I ate my bunless Fatburger. I have my Starbucks next to me. I sat and closed my eyes for a good three minutes just calming myself. Like I said in not so many words, work has been shitty, but writing for this site should no longer suffer because of that.
Had this been a year ago or heck even a few weeks ago, I’d probably throw up an apology here. I won’t do that this time because I regret nothing. I have my priorities and anything non-family, non-work, I pushed off to the side.
Oh did I tell you the hot water pipe under my house busted? That’s fun.
Anyways, I know this post is all over the place but I needed to defib my brain, find a quiet moment, and just start writing. There’s no rhyme or reason, or a general point to this. It’s all just mental vomit. And I told myself I wouldn’t go back to do any editing other than for typos. This is what’s going on with me right now.
I would like to say thank you to Eric and Nick for bailing water on what appears to be a sinking ship. I’m back and I’ll keep finding things to write about. Because now that the bumping in my head for THIS post has finally stopped, there’s lots of other things I want to talk about.
One of my favorite all time quotes is from Edna Mode. In the first Incredibles movie, she says to Jack Parr, aka Mr. Incredible, “I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” Words to live by, I say. Words to live by.
Time’s up. Class is starting.