This has been a crap year for me personally

I’ve already written about how my wife fought breast cancer. And I meant to post with more regularity but failed at that. The first half of the year was brutal. Not only was there the whole health thing, but we also had the city come down on us for having our fascia board above our garage not in the prettiest condition. Mix some rotting wood under the paint with a previous year/season of heavy rainfall and then add a dose of a neighbor who can only be described as a Karen and you get a violation notice from the city. Luckily, they were somewhat understanding of our situation and extended us a few deadline extensions. Even luckier was my extended family who wanted to help us during treatment and sent over a handyman to repair the damages.

It sounds like such a minor thing, fixing a fascia board. And it is. Had it been any other time in our life we would have been able to address it before the city had to get involved. But it was just one of those things that I just didn’t have time for. Having your spouse go through treatment basically turns a team effort of daily parenting into a solo job. One of the things the wife and I talked about that while she was going through her treatment, we would do everything we could to keep the kids schedule as normal as possible. So all the things she used to do, I now had to do on my own on top of my day job. I won’t write again about how much our friends and my work manager did to help us but I really couldn’t have done it without them.

One of my favorite shows to watch to pass the time while I cook or clean or do dishes is Shark Tank. On one episode, one of the Sharks said this very simple thing: Focus on what’s important. Those words kept ringing in my ears over and over and it made things crystal clear. This site, as long as I’ve been running it with the help of my friends, just was not important this year. I’m sure everyone reading this would agree and say that it is obvious. But there was always a certain amount of guilt and shame that came with the neglect. When you put in so much time, energy, money, and sacrifice to build an audience and provide content, and then all of sudden you’re forced to stop, even for a very good reason, there are all sorts of emotions that you’ll have to deal with. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t speak for everyone but it was something I definitely struggled with. That quote though definitely helped take the edge off.

Okay, so that was basically the first half of the year. Second half was okay up until about two months ago when I was told that my contract wasn’t going to be renewed. I worked for a consulting agency and the client I was placed with had changed some of their hiring and contingent worker policies. That sucked but what sucked even more was that the agency I was with was unable to place me with another client and had to let me go once the contract expired. But wait, there’s more! What sucked the most was that I wasn’t given any severance. My financial situation wasn’t great to begin with but we had some savings to help tide us over until I can find employment again. And let me tell you, finding a tech job nowadays has been quite the experience and not in a good way. Fake job listings, fake job “recruiters”, “recruiters” who want copies of your driver’s license and last four of your social security number, “recruiters” who ghost you, hiring managers that ghost you, hiring managers that take a month to come to a decision, you name any possible crap situation possible and I’ve probably gone through it ten times over.

I haven’t told our kids yet that their dad doesn’t have a job. That is something I will not burden them with. It was about this time last year that we found out about the breast cancer diagnosis and last year’s Christmas was not the greatest to say the least. So we are doing our best to give our kids a nice holiday this year. My oldest may kind of have a suspicion since I’ll often wear button-up shirts for Zoom interviews and she’ll wonder why I’m wearing a nice shirt. And I’ll often talk about scheduled interviews with the wife in front of the kids to get our calendars in sync. Thankfully she hasn’t asked me directly so I don’t have to lie to her about it. So yeah, trying to stay positive is of utmost importance. The whole job hunt is challenging and demoralizing. And with the holidays upon us, it’s doubtful anyone is going to be hiring during the month of December. I am going to try to assume that is the case, enjoy some time off with the family, and really hit the pavement come January.

That photo at the top of the post. It was one I took while on a family camping trip to Sequoia National Park. We were coming back from the lodge to our cabin and the sky was clear of clouds. It was a 30 second exposure taken with an iPhone 15 Pro Max. Quite possibly one of my favorite photos I’ve ever taken. That trip was a few weeks ago and it was the same trip where the transmission on our family car decided to die. What’s that phrase? When it rains, it pours? 2024 has been a shit year. But that photo, man, that photo makes me smile.