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Challenge #11: Haiku

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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby Obi-Wan Skywalker » Tue May 19, 2009 3:20 am

Lando promised Han
the ship will not be damaged
Lando broke a dish


Do not bring sunblock
when you visit Kamino
The sun never shines



It is now the time
the jedi are rebelling
order 66
Quoting Firespray
There is no Ace, The Ace is a lie.

My flickr... http://www.flickr.com/photos/42848399@N03/
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby liquidcross » Tue May 19, 2009 7:53 am

Prequels' bad acting,
horrible dialogue...why?
God says no, my friends.
Image
(and don't forget Text and Violence)
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby Darth's Daddy » Tue May 19, 2009 9:09 am

Here's my Haiku submission (the titles of each are in quotes). Are you supposed to put in 3? I didn't see that in the rules. But here goes anyway... (OK, I see it now. Reading Is Fundamental)

"The FBTB experience"
Bricks of A.B.S.
Fun creating ships and scenes
I can has Star Wars?

"Luke's Song"
I don't know my dad
Ben gave me his Jedi sword
I need some training

"Death Star"
That is no small moon
The lasers can destroy you
Shoot the vent, it blows
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby Septemris » Tue May 19, 2009 10:20 am

A vast galaxy
Millions of lives turn around
A small grain a sand

Sweet is this last light
In your loving arms tonight
I finally see
© Bernard
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby b4p » Tue May 19, 2009 2:50 pm

d'oh, clicked the wrong link
next time i'll be more careful
*goes to other thread*
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby thepatient » Tue May 19, 2009 5:26 pm

It's Slave Leia's butt
Just don't post it on flickr
Kids might enjoy it

---

Natalie Portman
Looks so hot in her white pants
I like that booty

---

What is that odor?
Slide down to the garbage dump
I'm taking this couch
<O> <O>
"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." -Winston Churchill
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby UOldPirate » Tue May 19, 2009 8:15 pm

Gambler and scoundrel,
pursued by bounty hunters,
Han Solo shoots first!


The dark times begin.
A galaxy divided,
waits for a new hope.


Tibanna gas mine,
floating city in the clouds
where Luke learns the truth.
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby Joxer the Mighty » Tue May 19, 2009 10:04 pm

Heart full of hatred
Saber cuts through the darkness
A Jedi is slain

General Grievous
Fearless cyborg, grieving heart
Beware of Obi

Renounce the dark side
Mara Jade follow your heart
Luke is your future
"I want to go to there"
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby LL918 » Wed May 20, 2009 8:43 am

This was another fun challenge…

On ten years of Star Wars LEGO and FBTB:

Building with the force,
Two childhood passions meeting -
Ten years quickly pass.


A fan’s lament:

Oola and Aayla,
Queen Padme, Princess Leia -
So far, far away.


And finally a desperate attempt in poor Japanese (counting syllables the Japanese way):

Kuro kabuto
Hikari no katana
Heiwa kuru

(Black helmet)
(Sword of Light)
(Peace is coming)
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby a red shirt » Wed May 20, 2009 11:01 am

This is a hard one. i could probably write dozens of Haikus, but really, the best of these is very subjective. Instead, I have decided to write just one (because three would have taken too long) Haiku, in a different language.


Keel-ee calleya ku
Kah. Wanta dah moolee-rah?
Soong peetch 'lay, Solo.


This is huttese. The non-Haiku English translation is "You disappoint me. Why haven't you paid me? It's too late, Solo"

RedShirt
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby onions » Sat May 23, 2009 11:22 pm

Thank you all for a good read. Before I announce the winner, I'd like to quote a few of my favorites:

bigospedros wrote:What a piece of Junk!
The Millenium Falcon
Can hide in the trash


A most universal dilemma:
ccjwprongs wrote:Star Wars meets LEGO
and millions of wallets
cried out in anger


Both an iconic and most epic action sequence:
Legomancer wrote:X-Wing in the trench
Pilot flies towards exhaust port
Must stay on target!


I think yankeeken speaks for many:
yankeeken wrote:Clone Wars CGI
Talk about a bunch of crap
It is a cash cow


Who didn't like the Family Guy take?:
thepatient wrote:What is that odor?
Slide down to the garbage dump
I'm taking this couch


But as far as the winning entry, this was the one that got my attention:

Septemris wrote:Sweet is this last light
In your loving arms tonight
I finally see


ROTJ may not have been the masterpiece that TESB was, but the redemption for Anakin, especially in light of the entire story arc of Episodes I - VI, was quite masterfully captured in this haiku. And as far as I can tell, it's an original work. Congratulations, Septemris, you're a big weiner! PM me your mailing address and your choice of fig.
onions
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Re: Challenge #11: Haiku

Postby Septemris » Mon May 25, 2009 7:24 am

Woohoo!
After several rereadings, I wasn't sure if it would be clear I was referring to that exact scene.
I've always found this moment to be quite moving; how Anakin realizes that the prophecy is true after all, that he does bring balance to the force, how he seems to rediscover Padme through the eyes of Luke. Just writing the Haiku got me all emotional. :x
I almost went for:
"In your summer arms tonight"
but decided to use "loving" to help on my clearness issues.
I'm glad you got it and liked it!
© Bernard
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